24-25/12/2007

So it was the 2nd day, I am controlling myself well, adapting to the water temperature in working place- the fresh fish department.
You were back to Osaka and we were chatting still over the wall.
I can't believe it was one year ago.
When I almost thought it was really something.

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 2:55am on December 25th, 2007 Today I figure how to use the water heater but then I was not asked to wash dishes again, thats good but then again, I have been holding this freezing steel container in the freezer, since its too cold I can feel my index finger like split( skin ), I have been putting on tons of lotion, to moisturize it. My hands is one of my proudest possession, I hv been taking gd care of it aLL the time. I am gonna do my grocery tomorrow, dun worry. Delete

Akira Natomi (New Zealand) wrote at 6:26pm on December 24th, 2007 Oh sad not many people at doom.... Is there any school stuff looking after??? If noone looking after u people, umm there should be PARTY TIME, hehe. The Big Doom Party. Oh that is da worst story food is running out, but it's 2007 almost 2008 in Japan not old days anymore. There r some food at my apartment, I wish I can share, but I can after 3rd of Jan I will b back there. Do the dishes with warm water so I see no problem(like its cold). If u really hungry take Becca's food off she's got plenty. Write on Akira's Wall - Delete

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 9:44am on December 24th, 2007 they are off to Osaka this morning, so my roommate and I and some of the Chinese and Becc is stiLL here...Ya, working today...im eating some pasta now, but kinda komatteru tht my fridge is running out of food. p/s I don't mind washing dishes but the water is really cold...and my skin peeling off(sob) Delete

Akira Natomi (New Zealand) wrote at 7:16am on December 24th, 2007 Na I took a train to Osaka, and full of peole on da train. Around me was many old people, and my suitcase took my space so couldnt sleep well ay. Nah didnt sleep well because u sent me messages, haha. Yeah miss mum, looking forfard to go shopping with her oneday, because she got money. Yes good on u doing everything by urself.lol. Hey dont make joke of Dish-washing , Im'm proud of that job. Yeah great to be here ay, havn't had mum's cook yet... We had a whole chicken with my sis and mum last night, then I went to my friends and had another dinner was nice. Who is still at doom??? Sounds like ur next door neighbour American Lisa's still there, but funny u 2 dont see each other even next door. haha Working 2day??? Write on Akira's Wall - Delete

22/23-12-2007

I have been searching by the name aKira for like several times ever since I knew his name. But I found none, as I was still new to FB there then. One night after I came back from my first day working in aPita, Kozouji, today I kinda found him from LiSa's wall, so you were the 红娘, if you know what is it.
I immediately added him to be my friend and to my very surprise he even accept me as fast as the fastest I knew of. There we started a month old relationship, from the wall on the 23-12-2008, a night to remember. At least after one year, I am still stubbornly choosing the tough path, not to let you go, not just yet. 朗にまだ諦めたくない.

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 10:19pm on December 23rd, 2007 u took a bus to osaka? y didn't u sleep well yesterday? Missing your mum? anyway, Im in the fresh fish department... today was the first day...basically i did help here n there, and then there r time when I do something like dish washing-san too... So hows back home? mama 料理、どう？ Delete

Akira Natomi (New Zealand) wrote at 4:38pm on December 23rd, 2007 Thats simple reason not going to outside Aichi, NO MONEY. I dont know wats famous in Osaka, just ask them to buy wat eve they think is souvenir. I grew up in Osaka but never bought anything for souvenir in Osaka. Good on u sleeping earlier than usual time. I got to Osaka this afteernoon then went to watch a rugby game, I met 3people from Aichi, was strange meeting Aichi people in Osaka. Didnt sleep well since last night haha. Wat u do for ur バイト？？？

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 8:57am on December 23rd, 2007 By the way, my roommate wouldn't be mad if I sleep late. Cos I always sleep late, but yesterday I slept before you ask me to, that was strangely early. Delete

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 8:41am on December 23rd, 2007 everybody is going out on the holiday...bunch of ppL going Osaka, Tokyo,YOkohama, Kyoto, Nara and so and so forth... But since hv no $, i hv to バイト. anywhere I'll hv a day break per week. mayb I can go to Gifu ken or Nagoya Eki....hahahaha Hey what else is famous in Osaka, I wanna ask my friend to buy me some as souvenir for my family, お菓子か？ Delete

Akira Natomi (New Zealand) wrote at 12:52am on December 23rd, 2007 U better go 2 bed now, otherwise ur room mate is gonna b mad. Laters p.s r u going smwhere for holiday??? Write on Akira's Wall - Delete

Akira Natomi (New Zealand) wrote at 12:43am on December 23rd, 2007 Oh u will b in trouble if smone know that smone got a 短期バイト　 lol I wont tell anyone promise. Yeah will eat heaps of Takoyaki. hahaha Write on Akira's Wall - Delete

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 12:27am on December 23rd, 2007 I got a 短期バイト， just for this short break... 内緒だ...shhhh..... eat aLot of Takoyaki for me K... tata Delete

Akira Natomi (New Zealand) wrote at 12:17am on December 23rd, 2007 My 冬休み hasnt started yet, I worked last Tuesday since then I didnt work. Going back 2 Osaka eary in da morning tomorrow. Hows ur 冬休み？？？　　Any plan??? Write on Akira's Wall - Delete

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 12:11am on December 23rd, 2007 So Hows your 冬休み going? StiLL a dish washing -san? Delete

Akira Natomi (New Zealand) wrote at 12:08am on December 23rd, 2007 Ohh I was bored and my msn thing always let me know if I get any e-mail, that's why. yeah actually I was hoping someone gives me a message or something, waiting for it whole day... Write on Akira's Wall - Delete

Liew Cheng Yan wrote at 11:39pm on December 22nd, 2007 So you were fast.... you awaiting for my request, didn't you...

This was the first day. You left home to Osaka, with a laptop.

今天，突然决定了。
我不爱了，不要爱了。爱你好痛苦。
我比较想当你快乐的朋友。带笑的离场。告诉自己说无所谓。
明白自己的矛盾，没敢说得咬牙切齿。

收到转发邮件一封，

One day I decided to quit…
I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality…
I wanted to quit my life.
I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
“God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”
His answer surprised me…
“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”
“Yes”, I replied.
“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds,
I took very good care of them.
I gave them light. I gave them water.
The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo.
In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.
And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.
But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.
“In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.
But I would not quit.
In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.
“I would not quit.” He said.
“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.
Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant…
But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.
It had spent the five years growing roots.
Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.
I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”
He said to me. “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots”
“I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.”
“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said.
“The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern.
Yet, they both make the forest beautiful.”
“Your time will come”, God said to me. “You will rise high!”
“How high should I rise?” I asked.
“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.
“As high as it can?” I questioned.
“Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.”
I left the forest and bring back this story.
I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.
He will never give up on you.
Never regret a day in you life.
Good days give you happiness;
Bad days give you experiences。

有一点讽刺咯。

30-11-2007

今晚想你想得有点凶。眼前是一级日检大全，心里却好像下一秒就要飞到你身边。
挂虑的事不想多想，只想好好跟自己，跟回忆，跟想象，跟你谈一场天马行空的恋爱。
去年的今天，30-11-2007 即便我们的开始，我们的故事就从这一刻，起航了。

那天下午，我们上了最后一堂的花道，日语为华道。上一回，我没把作品带走。这次我把它带走了。像以往，大伙儿上完课以后，都会到20号馆的，学生lounge 去打屯。在那里，我也不是第一次看见你了。就是不敢上前跟你搭讪。那天Becca没在。他不跟我上同一班。

那间学生lounge本来就放着一盆假花，当时你说想把一盆花带回家，放在你住的公寓里。看样子你就要拿那盆假花走，我就开口装酷地说你要嘛拟就拿我的花好了，反正我也不打算拿回家。朋友们，忘了是谁也帮口。最后你拿了我的花，没问我的名字，就走了。

后来想起，一个大男生，干吗要那盆花放在公寓里。说起来也奇怪。还假装要拿假的那盆。。。

-30/11/2007 in class 。。。- 4/1/2008 in his apartment

I know my flower arrangement wasn't any magnificent masterpiece, but it survived for quite a long time.

花再美也会凋谢，何况我们什么都不是。。。

-In DeeP MemoRy-
=静子=

那年冬天，我做了一个很长的梦。
梦里有爱的晕眩的时候，不约而同的相遇，等待的焦急， 心痛的眼泪，期待的约会，心跳的告白，羞涩的拥抱，离别的晚餐，取暖的咖啡，被遗忘的约定。
一切的一切如此清楚。
如此的真实，切肉的痛。
我会一一记下来。
我想你知道，我还很在乎，你的答案。
你呢？

You are like a little legend or fairy tale of my life. I do not know and I do not want to know whether it worth it wait or not, as all the other time, I refuse to check my account just because I do not want to know how much I have as balance. Runaway from truth, some might say. Friend, when it comes to the question of LoVe, it never failed to be irrational. People hold the biggest excuse to blind their own self and can’t help(refuse to be help) falling into that big black hole.

Have you deleted me from all the contact you have in your pc? Does this bring any good? Have you already deleted me from your lifetime memory? That draws more of my concern. I have to admit I am a little upset, even it might be just a prank or purely coincidence. Why can’t it be someone else?

I am not giving up just yet, because I believe that this haven’t even started, I can wait.

I know asking why wouldn’t help, as I will not get any answer from you especially; and asking why will only show my over emotion and lead myself to grief.

But though that is all true, can you just let me ask this why for once?

Why would you treat me so? Why don’t you reply my message? Why you promised? Why don’t you keep our promise? Why you leave me in all these unknown? Why don’t you be honest? Why you freak out? Why you bury our relationship? Why you make yourself a habit to me? Why you sneak into my life and take my heart away? Why are you like every other man? Why can’t you like me in return?

Why is love so hurt? Why I always fall for the wrong man? Why I am always the one been dump? Why true hearted is not good enough? Why I have to be smart to get a guy? Why can’t I keep a relationship long? Why am I thinking so much?

How could you just get away like this, and I have to…

How could you do all these to me…you might just lose me for life, hurt me for ever…

You said you know everything, but do you know how much pain you leave me?

You said you know everything, but do you know that I have been longing for your reply?

Do you know how many tears I have drop for you?

Obviously, you are not putting effort on this, But ShiZuko what are you expecting? Or why are you still expecting something. Why don’t you believe that there are people really don’t care about how you feel out there after so one time of good paining experience? What you getting ready to forgive again? For what sake? Not satisfy with the hurt and pain you got through?

When will you learn to be smarter? When will the right one exist? How can I know someone is the right one? Why are the feelings lying? Why is it so true at that moment? Where is the cupid? What is promise to you? Someone told me promise made must be fulfill, and then I told someone the same thing, but all of us not implementing it. So this statement is a false.

I think I am doing fine; I just need a little time. I can be rational, but that was not what love about. Why would you treat me so? Answer me! Why are you running away? Why are you avoiding me? Why would you just disappear in my life? Why are you so an irresponsible man? Why can’t you be kind to me as you said you always do?

Why I knew that you are not good enough but I still fall in for you? How I wish I could turn back time. I would have stick to my A plan and let this relationship end beautifully.

It was all my mistake…I should have a better period. ShiZuKo never learn from the pain…She is a DumBo…She wish she always do…